Obstacles
by willow1850
Summary: Set after during and after "Lover's Walk", What if Oz didn't take Willow back when he found her with Xander? What if this betrayal helps him see he was with the wrong person all along? The story will follow loosely along the show's timeline Reviews welcome and encouraged as I am a complete newbie at this. Disclaimer I do not own these characters
1. Chapter 1

Oz slows the van, sniffing.

 _"_ _Hello?"_ Cordelia interrupted.

 _"_ _It's Willow. She's nearby"_

 _"_ _What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume"_

Sniffing the air again, he throws the van into reverse.

 _"_ _She's afraid..."_

 _"_ _Oh my god. This is a residual werewolf thing, isn't it? I think that's very disturbing"_

 _"_ _I really agree..."_

They parked and ran, scrambling to find Willow and Xander. At the bottom of the stairs shock, betrayal, and hurt washed over him as he watched her kissing Xander, he was unable to move. He could practically feel their bond breaking inside him, she was no longer his and he was no longer hers, all in one single moment.

 _"_ _Oh God"_ exclaimed Cordelia with disgust evident in her voice.

 _"_ _Oh God_ " echoed Xander

 _"_ _Oh, God… Oz"_ Willow scrambling to a seated position.

 _"_ _We have to get out of here"_ Oz coolly stated, even he noticed the distance in his voice. His wolf already whispering to him that she was not his, that she had never been good enough to be his mate.

Transfixed it took Oz a second to even notice Cordelia was no longer at his side and was instead frantically running up the stairs. Her scream pierced the silence and a muffled crash followed. Oz sprinted up the stairs to find her, narrowly avoiding the opening. Looking down it was evident Cordelia was hurt badly; she appeared to be skewered by a sharp piece of metal in the abdomen. As he pulled out his phone he felt Willow and Xander at his side both frozen in horror at Cordelia's broken form.

Oz started dialling, Cordelia needed a hospital and now. After a few brief questions Oz put away his phone. _"Oz?"_ Oz turned and glared at Willow, _"I?"_ Willow shook her head and backed away. Then there was silence, until the ambulance arrived. The paramedics asked a few brief questions before loading Cordelia in and taking her to the local hospital. After they all silently scrambled into Oz's van to follow behind. The journey in the van was tense and uneasy and no one spoke, uniform masks of hurt and worry on all three. At the hospital they waited for news, once Oz was satisfied that Cordelia had been admitted and was stable, he nodded and turned silently walked to his van, he heard Willow say something to him but it was already too late. He was done. As he got into his van he could finally allow all the feelings of confusion, anger and hurt to surface.


	2. Chapter 2

**_In the Graveyard…_**

Later that night Willow and Buffy were wandering through the graveyard.

 _"So, Cordy's okay."_

 _"Yeah. She lost a lot of blood, but no vital stuff got punctured."_

 _"Has she talked to Xander?"_

 _"She couldn't have visitors at first. He's going today."_

 _"And Oz?"_

Willow dropped her head in shame, suddenly finding the ground riveting.

 _"I didn't know there was anything inside me that could feel this bad"_

Buffy reached over and put her arm around Willow pulling her in close for support.

 _"For the longest time I couldn't figure out what I wanted. I wanted everything. Now I just want Oz to talk to me again"_

Buffy silently acknowledged her and they made their way back to Willow's.

On Buffy's way home from Willow's she decided to visit Angel. She knew he would be at the Mansion and there she found him in the garden. As she walked in Angel looked up at her.

 _"I wondered when you were coming"_

 _"I'm not coming back"._

Angel was taken aback, this didn't sound like his Buffy.

 _"We're not friends. Never were. I can fool Giles, I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you, I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you any more, so I'm gonna go"_

 _"I don't accept that."  
"You have to."_

 _"There must be some way we can still see each other"_

 _"There is, tell me you don't love me"_

Silence fills the air and after a moment passes Buffy turns and walks away.

As she lay in bed, Buffy was thinking about the last 24 hours and how it had really made her look at herself and her relationship history. It was not exactly stellar; since Hemery it had just been Angel and Scott. She didn't really count Hemery anymore, as it might as well have been another life. _'Am I doomed to be alone? Or is it just the Slayer should be alone? Ugh I hate this job. I have all this strength and power, but everyone seems to forget I am a girl too. Too much slayer for Scott and too much girl for Angel? Maybe it is me, maybe I just don't want someone who doesn't want both of me… both the girl and the slayer? Maybe it's too much to ask of someone. It's hard enough for me to balance those things in me, never mind expecting someone else to be ok with me constantly having to balance me too... Ugh… School tomorrow… Algebra first thing! Poor Oz, Poor Cordy…"_ Buffy turned over pulling the blanket over her head, hiding from the harsh reality of life and fell asleep soon after.


	3. Chapter 3

Oz pulls up to school and parks his van in his usual spot. He pauses a second before grabbing his things and opening the van door, for once not entirely sure of how to approach the day. He knows Willow will want to talk and he knows she won't like what he needs to tell her. He needs her to know its over, but he doesn't want to be cruel.

He spots Willow waiting by the door for him but he isn't ready for the talk just yet. He instead enters around the back, it's a delay tactic, but one he needs right now.

As the bell rang on the class before lunch and the door opened he smelled her waiting for him. Part of him wanted to delay it further but instead he took a breath and walked out.

Willow stood there shuffling her feet anxiously and gave him a nervous smile.

 _"Hi Oz, ehm Can we talk?_

Oz nodded and silently ushering her to an empty, private spot. They sat down and Willow blurted out

 _"Oz, I know I messed up and I'm sorry, I just want…"_

Oz calmly took a breath _"I get it, you just want it to be ok, but you don't get a say… anymore. You messed up, it's not ok and truthfully it hasn't been for a while"._

 _"No… Oz, it was good, it was working… What are you saying?"_ desperation clear in Willows tone.

 _"I don't want to string you along, or string this out, so I will just say that we are over, its not just about yesterday, although that really hurt, it's also about you and me… and the wolf, we don't work together"._

Tears streamed down Willows face but she couldn't find any words to say. Oz waited a second and then stood and walked away leaving Willow alone.

Oz walked off lost in thought, deciding to avoid the buzz of the cafeteria. He was relieved it was done, and hurt that it was necessary. Last night was rough. He had felt so betrayed; it had filled his mind with a constant droning chatter. He struggled to think of something else just so he could sleep, humming half formed melodies, planning the set list for next weeks gig… when a familiar blonde warrior had swarmed his consciousness. Thoughts of her had filled him with warmth, smiling for the first time since this happened and shortly after that he was asleep. As if his life needed more complications. Why Buffy? Why did it have to be her?

He made his way to his van to avoid the world, lying down in the back until lunch was over and his classes would carry him to the end of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

That night the Bronze thrummed with music and lights flitted over the dancers on the floor. Willow and Xander both slunk down in the couch. Buffy looked over at her friends, who were utterly miserable. She hated seeing them this way, but they were kinda reaping what they had sowed a little. Xander remained oddly silent, preferring instead to sulk, hearing virtually nothing of what was being said around him.

" _Buffy I really messed up, he really hates me"_ cried Willow into her drink.

 _"Will, I'm so sorry, I know it sucks but it will pass"._

Willow's sobs grew even louder.

Buffy wrapped her arm around her friend to comfort her.

" _No it won't, we were so good together Buffy… he was my everything"_

Buffy took a breath, knowing she was about to say something slightly controversial to Willow. Something she may not like to hear.

 _"Was he Wil? I mean if he were, you and Xander… you two wouldn't have been smooching, if you were truly happy with Oz that is? Maybe this happened this way to let you know, he wasn't meant for you. Perhaps there is someone else just waiting around the corner? Do you know what I mean?"_

 _"But it hurts so much Buffy, if that is true why does it hurt so much?"_

 _"I don't know Will, I think that is just how life works sometimes, You need to pass through the hurt, to get to the better place, to get there shiny and new and no longer lost in the old stuff"._

Buffy felt bad for all of them, Willow, Xander, Oz and even Cordelia. Did that make her a bad friend? Her best friends messed up big time. It was hard not to feel bad for Oz and Cordelia being betrayed like that. It was always hard when your friends mess up and you want to be there for them as friends but you also find yourself so frustrated at the decisions they made. Is this how they felt about the mistakes she made with Angel?


	5. Chapter 5

Just over a week had passed since the since then and today Buffy had woken up giddy. It was a full moon tonight. Buffy knew giddy was bad but she had missed Oz and he had skipped last weeks slayers sparring session. Since Oz and Willow broke up he had kept his distance from all of the Scoobies. Tonight, however he would have to go in the cage and she would have to be there, slayer duty and all. She had really missed Oz's calming presence. She knew it made her a bad friend to Willow. She also knew she didn't want to think too much more on why she missed Oz so much. It was flirting too much with non-friendlike thoughts, which again were bad.

On Buffy's way to Giles in the library she saw Willow moping about near her locker. This break up had been hard on her; yep she was a terrible awful friend.

 _"_ _Hi Buffy, are you gonna see Oz tonight? I mean you're on cage duty right?"_

 _"_ _Right, Will, but I mean he is gonna be wolf guy pretty much the entire time"_

 _"_ _Yeah… I know… I just… never mind"_

 _"_ _You sure?"_

Willow nodded and turned away.

 _"_ _Willow can I ask you something and you might hate me for it but… I just wanted to know if you are still ok with Oz sparring with me and Faith from time to time, I mean if you're not, I mean I won't"_

 _"_ _No its fine… I know its important, I guess, it's a wolf thing and a slayer thing, maybe just don't talk to me about it or anything"_

 _"_ _Sure Will, as long as you are ok with it"_

Willow walked away morosely nodding to herself.

Oz stared at his ceiling in bed and he wished desperately that it wasn't a full moon tonight. He was loathed to be near scooby central, well near Willow or Xander that is. It still stung, but the hurt was shifting. He had noticed Willow looking over at him with a longing look on her face several times this week and he resented her for it. She had messed up here not him, yet he felt guilt. He felt guilt for hurting her, as he hadn't wanted that. He was also feeling guilt for having all these sudden intense feelings for her best friend; the best friend who was going to be on guard duty tonight. Her best friend who would never feel about him the way he did about her. Her best friend who would never hurt Willow to be with him. While a week wasn't enough time for scars to have healed, he had a responsibility to keep people safe… from him. That came before his personal feelings. It had to. He took a breath and got out of bed.

Oz walked in to the library silently heading straight for the cage, he breathed a sigh of relief that only Giles and Buffy were there. Giles was reading a book over in the corner, he nodded at Oz and Oz nodded back. Buffy had weapons sprawled across the table cleaning them. She took weapon maintenance surprisingly seriously. She turned and smiled over at him, his heart stuttered.

" _Hi Oz, good to see you"_

 _"_ _Hey… you too"_

He was relieved, he hadn't realised until now that he was worried Buffy might hate him after what had happened.

 _"_ _Oz?"_

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Myself and Faith were thinking it would be good to get back to sparring… with you, I mean after… you know, I understand if you don't want to, but Faith and I could still use another punchbag"_

Oz smiled, punchbag is right he thought.

 _"_ _Sure, as long as it won't be a problem for you"_

 _"_ _No problems, I talked to Will, I mean she is ok with it… slayer training you know"_

Oz nodded and locked the cage. He turned from the room and smiled to himself. Undressing quietly he felt the initial pull of the moon and shortly after he was a wolf.

The next morning he woke, in his human form.

" _Hey…want coffee?_ Chirped Buffy as she bounced over to the pot.

 _"_ _Please… any problems?"_

 _"_ _Nope"_

Buffy bopped along to some unknown song in her head and sat down with two coffees and a couple bagels. They didn't really talk instead they just fell into a quiet companionable silence. After breakfast Oz cleared away the dishes before Giles got in and he and Buffy headed off to class. This routine continued for the next couple nights.

After that full moon Oz met up with Buffy and Faith once a week to spar again.


	6. Chapter 6

This whole mind reading thing was so much fun in the beginning, not too mention all the metaphorically cookies she was getting from the teachers all day. This whole thing however was really beginning to wear her down. Buffy trudged down the halls overhearing a number of delightful thoughts from nearby teenage boys thinking about the many ways they wanted to have sex with her. _'God the boys in this school are seriously perverted'_ she thought as she slipped out the first opening she saw and went outside to sit down by the fountain. She started taking deep breaths and allowing herself some mental space. As much as her might slayer powers could muster anyway. Then she heard the single voice enter her head…

 _'_ _Wow… she is so beautiful, this vibrant force of nature meets California girl'_ Oz smiles to himself _'why did it have to be her? Yeah I know why, she is funny and fierce and she is like me… a predator. This would have been so much easier if I had just met her first, at least then I would know if she could ever want someone like me. Now I am not sure if Buffy could ever see me that way… at least not after Willow"._ He was so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed Buffy's heartbeat speed up, the flush in her cheeks or the scent of her arousal before she got up and left. Oz's eyes dilated as the smell of her arousal reached his nose.

 _'_ _Oh god, Oh Wow, I had no idea that Oz felt that way… about me. What about Willow? What does this mean? How do I feel about Oz? Do I feel about Oz? I mean yeah I mean he is a hottie and he is Oz, I mean Oz, Cool, Calm, Collected Oz. Sweet Oz, Sexy Oz, Ugh not helping Buffy, He is peaceful and Ozlike. Yep apparently I do like him, um when did that happen? but Willow, Nope Nope Nope, best friend rule, Nope, Nope, Nope"_

Buffy wandered on suddenly sullen, her shoulders once more slumped. Bracing herself for the onslaught of voices to swarm her psyche from the cafeteria. _'Ugh this really was more fun earlier'._

 _"_ _I hate my body. He is so cute I can't even look at him. Am I normal? When am I ever going to need to know algebra?"_

The voices slammed into her mercilessly Buffy suddenly found herself struggling to keep upright and moving.

 _"_ _Are you through with the potatoes?"_ asked Jonathan interrupting the cacophony. Startled, she gapes at him. _'_ _She doesn't even know I'm here"_

Moving away from him slowly, she hears a barely human, bitter thought cut through the noise in her skull. _'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all'_

Buffy drops her tray, spinning around struggling to locate the voice, grabbing at people as they walk by. Everything is swimming, swimming, and blackness.

Her eyes begin to open, blurry at first, but gradually focusing on the scoobies who were all circled around. It took her a few minutes to collect her thoughts before she informs them " _There's a killer in the Cafeteria"._ Xander quipped _"I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's going to do us all in with that mulligan stew. I mean, what the hell is a mulligan?"_

 _"_ _Someone was thinking it. 'This time tomorrow, I kill you all.' I have to find them"_

 _"_ _You didn't recognize the voice?" enquired Giles_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Boy or girl?"_ asked Willow.

 _"_ _I don't know. It was so full of... anger and pain, it was hardly human. I have to find them"_

" _Are you sure they meant it?"_

 _"_ _I know the difference. He, she, whoever, they meant it. They're going to do it"_

Buffy clutched her head in obvious pain. Giles ignoring Buffy's protests grabbed hold of her and walked her to his car, nodding at Willow briefly. Willow feeling imbued with a sense of authority promptly took over the campaign to find out who the soon to be killer is, issuing orders to the remaining Scooby gang. Giles brought Buffy home and dove headlong into research mode back at the library. After numerous attempts to contact Angel Giles sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration just as Oz walked into the library.

 _"_ _Is there something happening? I saw the gang out and about"_

 _"_ _Yes, well it's rather a long story, but in essence, Buffy has been infected by a demon and has gained telepathy, and is now gradually losing control of it. The gang as you put it are out looking for a possible killer as Buffy heard someone was going to kill everyone today before she collapsed"_

 _"_ _Can I help?"_

 _"_ _Yes as a matter of fact, I need someone strong enough to kill the other demon who infected her, we need its heart for the cure, you up to the job? I tried calling Angel but…"_

 _"_ _Sure, give me the info… wait how long has she had telepathy?"_

 _"_ _Since last night I believe, why?"_

 _"_ _No reason"_ Oz blushed as he realised she had heard him, she knows. He took the information and sketch from Giles and picked up some weapons and headed out the door.

Several hours later Oz walked back to Revello Drive vial in hand. _"I have it"_

He is quickly ushered upstairs to Buffy's room and he rushes to her bedside.

His heart aches looking at her. Oz gently lifts her to a sitting position

 _"_ _No, No"_ Buffy pushes back

" _Its ok Buffy I'm going to help you"_

Buffy immediately relaxed into him as he holds the vial to her mouth. She drinks it down and starts convulsing. _"Giles"_ Oz's voice pitched toward panic.

When Buffy wakes again, there is silence and it's wonderful.

" _Oz?"_

 _"_ _Hey, you hear voices?"_

 _"_ _No, did you find the killer?"_ Suddenly blushing as she thought about Oz, and his thoughts earlier. She saw Oz blush in response, he knew.

Giles voice cut in _"Yes, turns out Xander was right, we were all shocked, it was the cook, she has been dealt with"_

 _"_ _Good"_

Giles began to usher everyone out of the room to give Buffy some space.

 _"_ _Oz? Can I have a minute?"_

 _"_ _Sure"_ Oz sat back down as everyone else filed out of her bedroom.

Buffy took a deep breath " _You know I heard you?"_

 _"_ _Yeah"_

 _"_ _Thanks for helping me, you are a good friend… but you're right, I don't want to hurt Willow, I don't want to hurt anyone."_

Oz looked away, hurt filling his features.

Buffy pulled his face back to face hers forcing eye contact.

 _"_ _Oz, I need you to know that I am feeling feelings too… for you, I haven't sorted through all of them yet, but… I feel things for you, but I can't, at least not now, not while everything is so fresh for everyone, I guess I just wanted you to know, that you weren't alone. That it is mutual. I know it doesn't help but…"_

 _"_ _It does"_

Buffy leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. Oz looked into her eyes, nodded and left.


	7. Chapter 7

Prom passed by in a blur, graduation and therefore the ascension was just around the corner. He had already committed to this fight, but after this fight, if he survived, Oz knew there was a hard choice on the horizon for him. He watched her longingly from across the cafeteria, she was perfect, his perfect mate. He knew that she would never want to hurt Willow that way, even if it meant hurting herself. She was the hero of the piece after all, but he needed all of her or he needed to go for both their sakes. After this fight he would leave, maybe find some inner peace or at least something help dull the longing he felt.

Oz walked to his seat surrounded by a sea of hats and robes, the day had finally arrived Graduation. Either he died today or he would leave tomorrow. He looked over at Buffy and Willow taking their seats, his stomach lurched. He felt sick. Leaving her was going to tear him apart. Oz settled into his seat and tuned out the speech focusing on his breathing waiting for the real game to begin. _"Here we go"_ muttered Oz as the Mayor begins to distort and grow into a big ass snake. Then he hears her cry out _"Now"._ Suddenly disrobed along with the entire class holding weapons. The battle begins.


	8. Chapter 8

Oz packed his van, maybe this apocalypse would be the last he helped avert, and maybe he could stay away from her. Maybe he could find his peace. Either way he needed to be away from her, too much inner turbulence he needs to sort out. Then at least he could be the person or the monster that would in theory at least deserve her. He threw the last of his things in the back. Walked around and sat behind the wheel. Taking one last look at Sunnydale, at the place that for him screamed of her. He put the key in the ignition, picked a direction and left.

Buffy watched from a distance as Oz packed his van and left and she wondered if she would ever see him again. Two people she loved had left, part of her has stopped loving Angel a long time ago but he would always be a part of her and it stung when he had left. It was nothing, however compared to the pain and the sadness of knowing Oz was leaving town, leaving her. Maybe it was better this way, they couldn't be together, not with Willow, not with her as the slayer. She would grieve, she would move on, and college would be a new day, a new Buffy.

Buffy received his letter a couple of days later.

 _"Buffy,_

 _I should tell you face to face but I find myself unable. I need you, but I know I can't have you._

 _Your friendship with Willow is important I get that, but I can't be here, seeing you, smelling you, it keeps me off balance. The wolf needs balance._

 _I have to leave, find my peace or my answers._

 _Always Yours,_

 _Oz."_


	9. Chapter 9

_Apologies for the delay, a little of real life and my laptop meeting its end caused it. This all had to be rewritten. Any reviews are much appreciated. :)_

Oz started throwing the last of his things into his backpack, taking a last look around his room. He couldn't avoid it any longer, he knew he had to go back. He didn't regret leaving. He was better for the experience, he had learned many things about himself and the world. He had also achieved balance with his wolf. He had relaxed into himself and he now had greater control of both parts of himself, but he was incomplete. He needed to return to his mate. He had already let his fear hold him back too long. He was afraid that she may not welcome him back, afraid that Willow would stand in their way, afraid she might have found someone new while he was gone. Ultimately just afraid, ultimately just an excuse. None of it mattered anymore, he had to try.

He grabbed his plane ticket from the drawer along with a box, a gift for her. He had found it in an old antique shop he had been sent to for an amulet, when he saw it he had thought of her. It was an antique garnet double heart ring. He smiled as he thought of it. It was two hearts, their hearts, but the gems also looked like fangs for him he felt like that represented both of them. In a weird and perhaps slightly morbid way, but he liked it and he was sure she would too. He put them into his bag and slung it over his shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

Buffy smiled over at Willow who was patiently waiting for her in the bookshop as she paid for the last of her things. She felt out of place here, but she was happy to see her friend in her element. Willow was happy here, she had finally been able to grieve her relationship with Oz and college was a fresh start for her. Buffy however was miserable, she had been all Summer. Everytime she thought of Oz her chest constricted and it took all her inner strength to hold back her tears. She was relieved that no one had asked her any questions about it, everyone had just assumed it was an Angel thing and she gladly let them. It was easier this way.

Willow was excited, college was her playground. Life centred around academia here, there was even a Wicca group on campus. She was attending it's first meeting of the semester tonight. She was hoping the group would be an opportunity to develop her magic further. Willow smiled over at Buffy who was paying for her books. Willow's smile faltered a little. She could see Buffy was still in pain, she had tried to help but Buffy was in pushing everyone away mode. She had initially assumed it was an Angel leaving thing like everyone else had, but about a month ago she had found out differently.

A month ago Willow had been rummaging through Buffy's desk looking for a scissors, when she had saw it. It was an envelope with Buffy's name and address on it, it was in Oz's handwriting. The air went out of the room, she had to know what was in it. Her hands trembled as she opened it, the letter itself was well worn and tear stained. Willow could feel her heart thudding in her chest as she glanced at the door, expected Buffy to storm in any moment. Satisfied she was alone she read it quickly, her stomach churned, hurt flared. How could Buffy not have told her that Oz had mailed her? That Oz had loved her? How long had this been going on? Her thoughts were reeling as she hurridly put the letter back in its place and found the scissors. She never told Buffy she knew. She still didn't know how to process the information that Oz and Buffy were in love. She felt kind of betrayed, but she knew she hadn't been.


	11. Chapter 11

Willow took a second look in the mirror before grabbing her bag and heading out the door to her first wicca meeting. She was excited and nervous as she walked into the common areas the meeting was being held in. She instantly spotted the group of girls sitting around dressed in the eclectic requisite uniform of those interested in the 'dark arts'. She stifled a giggle at that and instead smiled to herself as she approached the group. Most of them were chatting with each other, talking about their summer and introducing themselves to one another. She found a free seat and sat down with a wave and a brief "Hello" that was largely ignored by the group. She looked across to see a mousy blonde girl looking over at her smiling. She smiled back. The mousy blonde said a barely audible "Hi" back to Willow. It made Willows smile stretch even further. The meeting was brought to order shortly after.

 _Had it only been a week?_ Willow idly thought. A week and it felt like her entire life had been upturned, in a good way but also in a slightly terrifying oh my god what is happening kind of way too. _One minute she is just Willow, plain boring Willow and then she touched Tara's hand and it was electric. I mean the magic was obviously a part of it but… Suddenly she saw Tara, I mean she had noticed her at the first Wicca meeting, and yeah she was attractive but suddenly me, Willow was attracted to her, Tara. What does that mean? Am I gay? Am I bi? Is it just Tara?_ This weird mix of excitement, confusion and terror swirled around in Willow's head. _How am I going to tell people, I made such a fuss over Xander and Oz when I could be gay? How can that even be_? Just then Tara came into view and smiled over at her and suddenly Willows thoughts evaporated as a huge smile stretched her face as she got up to hug her.


	12. Chapter 12

Oz pulled into the parking lot of the college, he had been back a couple weeks now but so far he had flown below the radar. He hadn't meant to leave it so long before approaching anyone, but there had been some issues with his registration and he had wanted everything to be perfect, then classes were out for a week due to a 'laryngitis epidemic', yeah like he believed that. Wow he had really missed Sunnydale.

Today was the day he put his very simple plan into action. So simple it was hard to call it a plan. He was about to have his first important conversation since he got back. He walked into one of the many common areas on campus scenting the air to find her. He followed the scent to one of the common areas and there he spotted Willow curled up beside a mousy blonde deep in conversation. Huh, perhaps this might be a little more straightforward than he had previously thought. She had moved on. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on an intimate moment, he turned to leave.

 _"Oz?"_ He stopped and turned back.

 _"_ _Hey Wil"_

 _"_ _Hi…., Oh this is Tara"_

 _"Hi Tara… So, you two?"_

Shock and fear flitted across Willow's face.

 _"Ehm, what?... I mean… well yes, yes, we are together"_

Tara smiled shyly at Oz. Oz nodded back smiling.

 _"I am really happy for you two, Willow is there any chance we could talk sometime, it doesn't have to be right now?"_

Willow looked over at Tara, who leaned over and kissed Willow on the forehead.

 _"I have to get to a class anyway"_

They watched her walk away in silence.

Willow looked down at her hands as Oz sat across from her.

 _"No one knows about us, ok?"_

 _"_ _Sure"_

 _"_ _I should have known you would be Mr Cool about it... I'm just looking for the right time is all, it can be hard to just… tell people, oh hey lesbian now or whatever"_

Willow muttered defensively.

 _"_ _Your talking to me, who is a werewolf, I get the sudden change in identity thing, Willow they won't hear it from me, no matter what, I promise"_

Willow nodded in relief. A long silence fell between them before Willow finally softly asked _"This is about Buffy isn't it"._

The air left Oz's lungs for a second, how did she know?

 _"I guess we both are surprising each other today huh? I found your letter, it was in one of Buffy's drawers... she doesn't know I know. You love her... Did you love her when we were together?"_

The last words beginning to run together as Willow struggled to keep the upset from her words.

 _"I don't know… honestly. The first time I can even remember thinking about her that way was after I saw you and Xander together. I was in turmoil, I couldn't think straight… I was thinking everything and nothing at the same time. I struggled to focus on anything, music? school? Nothing worked... Then Buffy was there in my head and everything went quiet, there was just her and ever since I have just felt this… this intense pull to her.."_

 _"Ohhkay... that is probably more than I needed to know, Oz this is hard for me, you're my ex and she is my best friend. I know I hurt you. I do want both of you to be happy. I really do, but you were my first love...I have Tara now, and I don't know where it is going. It's really new but she makes me happy... I know I am rambling... what I mean is it will be hard seeing you too together it will but I would never stand in your way or Buffy's. She has been miserable all Summer so please go and make her happy."_

Oz sat there in awe of his ex, he had expected a fight or tears. He for a second remembered one of the things he loved about her now.

 _"_ _Thanks Wil, honestly this means…"_

 _"_ _Go! Shoo!"_ says Willow in a mocking tone with an undercurrent of sadness.

Oz stood up " _Thank_ _you_ ". Willow nods, as Oz walks away Tara is already swooping in and hugging her girl better.


	13. Chapter 13

Oz was stunned walking away from Willow, he had never really expected it to go that well. He had expected more hurt, more feelings, more of an outright battle. Then again, it hadn't been the first time Willow had surprised him. He was happy that she found someone, although why she felt the need to hide it? That he didn't understand. The Scooby gang weren't exactly known for being judgemental. He was a prime example of that.

Right now, though he was feeling wired and so he went in search of a quiet spot to meditate and think before making any further decisions. It was daily practice to him now and it helped keep him grounded and his wolf in check. Once he felt sane again, he stood once again centred and focused. Right now though, his focus was only on one thing, Buffy. He needed to find her and in making that decision he felt a rush of fear coarse through his body. Real fear that she might have moved on or just that she would no longer want him after all this. All of this would have been for nothing then, no he decided, not nothing, at least he would know. Although the thought of her rejection clawed him raw inside. He took a calming breath, trying not to undo the last thirty minutes of meditation.

He needed to know, he had already come too far to not try. So he began walking around trying to catch her scent, her delicious warm floral scent that he had craved every second he was away. After the third dead end he finally caught a fresh scent and followed it all the way to a class that still in session. So he felt that chances were good that she was in there and looking at his watch and saw that it should be finishing up soon.

He propped himself against the wall and allowed his eyes to close while paying close attention to his other scents. The sound of the bell took him by surprise and was jarring to his sensitive ears but his eyes popped open and he watched as seconds later the door was yanked open filling the hall with babble and footsteps. He watched the mass exodus of chattering students carefully, looking for that familiar flash of golden hair but so far there was nothing. He was starting to think he had made a mistake, that she wasn't in that class. When the door started to swing close, he stood about to leave when a small hand snapped out and grabbed it and then there she was, walking towards him but still clearly in her own little world. He smiled, she was just as radiant as she always had been. Her eyes suddenly popped up to meet his in an uncanny awareness of his presence.

 _"Oz?"_ She said carefully looking uncertain, like she didn't trust what her eyes were seeing.

 _"Buffy… Hi"_ his voice thick and he swallowed.

 _"You're back?"_ It sounded uncertain and her eyes flicked carefully over him. He wondered what she must be thinking after all this time, perhaps he didn't really want to know but only time would tell.

 _"Yeah, can we talk?"_ he asked.

 _"I don't know... it depends… are you back or just visiting?"_ she said neutrally but taking a clear step back from him.

 _"I'm back. Not visiting. Enrolled and everything"_ he stated making careful eye contact with her desperate to reassure her retreating form.

She relaxed and nodded.

" _Good_ , s _o how long have you been back?"_ she said with a smile, her first since their eyes had met.

 _"About two weeks"_ he replied beginning to relax.

 _"Two weeks"_ Buffy screeched advancing towards him clearly annoyed, garnering looks from passers-by. She paused for a moment looking before she looked around self-consciously before repeating it quietly this time " _Two weeks?"_ hurt etched across her delicate features. It felt like a blow to his gut seeing her so hurt, worse that his actions caused it.

Oz held up his hands in a pacifying gesture. Buffy pulled a face but kept quiet.

Oz exhaled taking a moment in his brief reprieve _"Yes, I needed to make some arrangements first and then last week happened"_.

Buffy deflated _"Oh yeah… that… well you know Sunnydale always a fun vacation spot"_ She shrugged " _So, did you find your answers? What brings you back?"_. He felt her eyes intent on him waiting for his answer. This was definitely an important answer to her, and that gave him a brief surge of hope.

 _"Some and you mostly"_ he said with a small smile and bated breath.

Buffy smiled again for a brief moment before it dropped from her face _"Oz… you know…"_

 _"I told Willow"_ he rushed out, determined to avoid her kind refusal, at least until she had all the information.

Panic flooded Buffy's face, he could have delivered that news better in retrospect. _"What? Why? Why would you do that? Oh god she is going to hate me"._ Buffy dropped herself to a nearby seat head in hands, upset and frustration in her tone. This so far had not been his most delicate work, perhaps he should have waited to do this. He sighed.

He squat down on front of her trying to meet her evasive eyes " _Buffy, she already knew. Truthfully, its more accurate to say she told me"_ he laughed lightly " _I wanted to do this the right way, so I talked to her first. I owed both of you that much. I love you Buffy and I came back because I wanted to give us a chance, if you want to that is. Willow gave her permission but even without it I would have pursued you. Since I left, it has felt like physical pain tightening in my gut and the constant dreams of you have tortured me... When I left, I went in search of answers and every answer I found led back here, to you. While I was away I talked to a number of elders I came across and they all told me the same thing, what I am feeling here is the pull to a mate. That my wolf sees you as my mate. I don't know exactly how you feel and that terrifies me because I need you. I know this is a lot and I am more than happy to slow this thing down to a crawl okay?"._ He smiled softly but it was a little strained as his entire body was rigid with tension so much of his future depended on these next few minutes, maybe even her next few words.

Buffy had remained painfully silent this entire time, processing every word slowly, none of really seeming to surprise her. She laughed suddenly _"Wow, I think that's more words that I have ever heard you say before, in total"._ Oz smirked but he was still tense, it was probably a fair comment though most of that speech had come from overthinking this very moment. He had rehearsed what he wanted to say to her a thousand different ways hoping to find the best way to convey to her how he felt. He had never actually decided on the exact wording even after all this time, at least not until that moment.

She smiled gently at him and took a deep breath _"Oz, I love you too… Since you left I have read every book I could find on werewolves, well since before you left really. From what I understand about mates, slowing down doesn't seem like much of an option really. Even if it was I don't think I could bare it any longer, I have been dreaming of you constantly and I have been miserable without you. So if we do this, I don't want slow, I want now"_ she said almost defiantly. He smiled, as if he would challenge her on this? As if he would stand a chance changing Buffy Summers mind on anything once she had it made up? She stared at him like she needed him to know how much she meant it. Then he realized that like himself this was no longer a want or a fleeting desire for her anymore it was a deep need in the core of her being. He nodded forcing out the words that felt thick in his throat " _Now, as in?"_

Buffy laughed lightly breaking some of the building tension, she leaned over and kissed his lips soft and chaste " _Yes, now as in the definition of now, not right here though… Also, I have a roommate"._ _"I don't"_ he said a little too quickly before a little blush crept up his face. She smirked suggestively " _Good_ " and she seized his lips again quickly before sliding her hands into his. The feel of her warm hand in his was electric and it made him smile. He walked them back to his van blowing off his only class of the day.

Soon after they were back at his apartment, he watched Buffy look around the clean but barely moved into space. " _Haven't really had time to do much, yet_ " he shrugged, it wasn't completely true but he was unwilling to say that he had hoped she would stay here with them once they were mated. That he wanted her to be part of making this or somewhere like it their home. She smiled _"At least you have a bed?"._ She turned around and pulled him to her and kissed him fiercely, he grasped her back, attacking her lips with equal ferocity. She pulled off his t-shirt smoothly, and Oz growled as she nipped at his shoulder. _"Buffy, we can stop this at any point if you want". "I don't think we can, not anymore"_ she said with a lust filled eyes. With that, he pulled her dress off in a swift motion and pinned her roughly against the wall. His lips slid down her throat and worked her delicate pulse point. Buffy whimpered before she pushed him forcefully into his bedroom and stalked after him. He met her in the middle grasping her hair and yanked her to him. She unbuckled his pants as she moaned into his kiss. He helped her discard his pants and he made short work of Buffy's underwear before pushing her back onto the bed. She giggled for a brief moment as she bounced on its surface, then her eyes darkened again as he prowled towards her, crawling over her and capturing her lips.

His hands found her breasts and hers travelled across the planes of his torso caressing each groove and line. He pushed his hand further down and pushed two fingers inside her, fuck she was already so wet, so ready for him. All of this felt so right. "Please" she begged and he knew what she wanted. He removed his fingers and she moaned as his cock glided through her sensitive folds before pulling back and pushing its way gently inside. She reached for him as he filled her and kissed him with every ounce of the pure need cascading through her flesh. With that they became nothing but primal needs and flesh on flesh met only by their moans and guttural growls as they worked their way toward their final undoing. The moment their mutual waves of pleasure hit, their entire bodies seized as they stared deep into each other's eyes. Their eyes glowed for a brief moment and then something deep inside both of them was released, a fundamental anxiety in their core disintegrated and they both understood that they were home now. It was simple and profound and deeply fulfilling. They stayed like that for some time before they finally pulled apart still panting, still unable to look away from one another. Oz pulled her to him and embraced her tightly they curled around each other and fell asleep. They were home now, mated.


End file.
